My dad often told me it’s not worth opening your mouth unless you have something worthwhile to say. It’s an incredibly decrepit concept in this day and age – one thoroughly incompatible with social media and the dynamics governing our internetized lives. Silence is death. A closed mouth is a closed door, and if there’s something even the most positive of people find discouraging, it’s a door handle that won’t even budge.
And yet, keeping silent for these past few months felt right.
Maybe it’s because I’m tired of everyone overhyping the smallest little thing, a peculiar mix of spamming and spasming becoming the latest standard in gaming, and our culture as a whole. Maybe it’s because communication based on “attention spans” and other social media wizardry – now in use by not just the “big boys”, but also a majority of indies – just doesn’t feel genuine enough. “And what are your favorite Halloween games???”, asked a game dev friend on his facebook page, while battling the very concept of Halloween (an “empty import from America”) just a click away, on his private profile.
Bleh, I say.
The entirety of my attention has been focused on my game project lately (aside from some small freelancing jobs), a wild beast to wrangle. Time spent on coding the engine did not yield a lot of truly shareable material. Time spent on debugging it allowed for the invention of a whole new genus of curse words, broken things that shouldn’t become public for an entire set of reasons. And even as those Marquis De Sade-worthy transgressive monstrosities of half-Polish, half-English origin kept flying out of my lips, the goal ahead remained both illusive, and unchanging…
The demo. The goddamn demo.
That demo, you see, is the one thing I crave, demand and require. I won’t go into crowd-funding without it, no matter how broke I might already be (hint: pretty broke). In my mindset, expecting anyone to fund a project without it actually existing is – in most cases – simply unreasonable. I might have supported kickstarters that were little more than a few pieces of concept art thrown together, but that’s not what I wish for and from my own peeps.
No. You need to see it first. You need to feel it first. You need to brush your hand against its sparkly fur and put it on your lap. It needs to purr in your ear. You then need to check its medical card, learning that as lovely as it is, it might be missing a few fangs, its tail doesn’t wiggle all that much and that its previous owner tattooed its butt with the title of his favorite Twilight fanfic. Then, and only then, armed with all that knowledge, you decide.
The first bit of good news is that said demo is almost here. I did say that before, I know (that’s why me shutting the hell up is a good thing – I tend to be overoptimistic about my timetables), but this time… This time I got it on my drive, in front of me. It needs some revisions, minor fixes, a bunch of missing voiceovers and a few extra details here and there, but the first 25 minutes of the game are pretty much done.
Once I’ve applied the final polish, I would be mightily honored if you sacrificed half an hour of your December time to check it out and share your thoughts, suggestions and critique. Each and every one will be most welcome, and taken into account. And I guarantee that’s not just PR speak.
Alas, that’s not even the worthwhile thing I came here to say. What I came here with is… I’m back. Like, for real.
As the demo gets completed and the crowd-funding campaign starts, your (once) favorite fan comic will make a return, and with a steady, bi-weekly schedule. I intend to give the “internet beggar” approach a shot, establishing a Patreon page and producing not just the game, but also comics (with some help – more on that later) and a small game-centric YouTube series from the funds it might gather. As always – you will see it first, then decide whether it’s worth supporting.
Yes, I believe I’m at a point where I have things to say again. Things worth sharing. And a comic series to finish up.
To anyone still hanging around here… I hope you didn’t mind that the door was closed for a while.
Time to kick that bastard wide open.