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Submitted on
September 18, 2012
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4.3 MB
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7,461 (1 today)
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Welcome to the first episode of Zaeed's Animal Galaxy, brought to you by the mighty AssaultSloth and Koobismo's Workshop! In this episode, Zaeed takes a closer look at the deadly omnivores known as the varren.

Episode script: AssaultSloth
Audio Producer: JeffDaniel
Zaeed Massani: AssaultSloth
Presenter: AssaultSloth
Kids: AssaultSloth, Terrance and Destiney
Ads\intro script: Koobismo
Ads\intro narrator: Matt "Calavera" O'Connor
Theme song: AssaultSloth

[The Mass Effect universe, its design and characters are owned by BioWare/EA Productions. This is a work of parody and fan-fiction, created under the terms of fair use.]

P.S. Aren't we all just grand? ;)
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:iconladykaia:
LadyKaia Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014
This is the best Clap Clap Clap Clap 
Reply
:iconyurei-hanatsuki:
Yurei-Hanatsuki Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Is this available on YouTube? All I get right now is goddamn audio. :iconpoutplz:
Reply
:iconkoobismo:
koobismo Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013
It is... But only as audio as well. ;) That's the way we recorded it - we don't have any video for it, I'm afraid.
Reply
:iconyurei-hanatsuki:
Yurei-Hanatsuki Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah, well. Still goddamn awesome. :iconzaeedmassaniplz:
Reply
:iconobsidiangrey:
ObsidianGrey Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This needs to become a series!
Reply
:iconyurei-hanatsuki:
Yurei-Hanatsuki Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It does. xD
Reply
:icontrutown:
Trutown Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2013
Zaeed scaring small children. This is awesome.
Reply
:iconzaeedmassani:
ZaeedMassani Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
........I regret this contract already.
Reply
:iconn7kopper:
N7Kopper Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Bahahaha!
It's stuff like this that makes me wish the Marauder Shields main storyline was based off of the ending, and not a debunked theory. But I guess it caters to a different crowd.
Reply
:iconno-one-o1:
No-one-o1 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh my god great voice :D this is so hilarious xD wonderful!
Reply
:iconrmtg:
RMTG Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Student General Artist
Dam you are so awesome~~~~~
Love it~~~~
Reply
:iconhaupmann:
Haupmann Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012
That was very weird.
As in, how would Zaeed manage to get his own show?
Pretty funny though.

However, voices and sound effects were top notch.
Reply
:iconsaraaluna:
SaraaLuna Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh god, I laughed throughout the whole thing. Zaeed and AssaultSloth are fantastic. "Look at that magnificent bastard!" This is the best thing; Zaeed needs a children's show of his own.
Reply
:iconazulenearoma:
AzuleneAroma Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Professional General Artist
OMG too funny. a triumph! oh shit it's a god damn nightmare...
Reply
:iconferretwulf:
ferretwulf Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012
"Bitch I don't remember."

Holy crap, I about had a stroke that was so funny.
Reply
:iconcaporaletravers:
caporaletravers Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012
OH SHIT, SHE SMELLS BLOOD, MUST BE MY AFTERSHAVE!!!
Reply
:iconrain-tear:
Rain-tear Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Its priceless!!!
Reply
:icontashashfengirl:
TashashFengirl Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Mwahahahaha!

Favourite comment - Zaeed "Ah S$%* she smells blood, must be my aftershave!"
Reply
:iconkatamuro:
katamuro Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
this is bloody awesome
Reply
:icondnesaeed:
DneSaeed Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012
Cant stop laughing...
Reply
:iconcrullovetroy:
CrulLovetroy Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012
'Our VERY special guest...' -- I see what you did there ;D hilarious!! awesome :3
Reply
:iconsm51:
SM51 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012
What's next, Threshy the Thresher Maw?
Reply
:iconwermm2:
wermm2 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012
This just blew my mind!!
Reply
:iconkysira:
Kysira Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012
So much WIN!!! Freakin awesome man!
Reply
:iconrossi320:
rossi320 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012
Zaeed hosting his own kids show... The concept alone is hilarious. Zaeed always did make me chuckle. :D
Reply
:iconbombeletta:
Bombeletta Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2012
♥ ♥ ♥ VARREN ♥ ♥ ♥
Reply
:iconmexalen:
mexalen Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
AssaultSloth, I love your Zaeed Voice-work!
I've been listening to this in office .. it was hard not to just start laughing out loud :D

I got to remember this line, when confronted with a crying 4-year old: "I won't let you slow me down!" :D
Reply
:iconorchid1328:
Orchid1328 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
Fell off my chair laughing.
Please, please find it within your hearts to make more of these.
Reply
:iconorchid1328:
Orchid1328 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
Unsure if my favorite part was "like a guddamn pistachio" or "you should consult with your moral compass before choosing TIM's"
Reply
:iconisthistea:
IsThisTea Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Christopher Robin... lol.
Reply
:iconemotikonz:
Emotikonz Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
This is going in my Hilarity collection folder, I SHIT YOU NOT :iconzaeedplz:
Reply
:iconmandulis:
Mandulis Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
Let me guess...He was the only survivor?
Reply
:icontreewyrm:
TreeWyrm Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
Seriously this sounds just like him! AWESOME!
Reply
:iconpoppy201:
poppy201 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
I can imagine the rest of the crew listening to this and going...wow.
Reply
:iconkill-da-wabbit:
kill-da-wabbit Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
Gotta love Zaeed.
Reply
:iconzenoto:
Zenoto Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
cant wait for the Yawg episode XD
Reply
:iconsm51:
SM51 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012
But Yahg aren't animals.
Reply
:iconzenoto:
Zenoto Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012
They could still count as such given how they came off in ME3.
Reply
:iconsm51:
SM51 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012
But the Shadow Broker....
Reply
:iconzenoto:
Zenoto Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012
he was abducted by the original Shadow broker but then he killed him and took his place.
Its easy to guess the time he spent as the shadow brokers "pet" he learned a thing or to and had glyph teach him the rest.
Reply
:iconsm51:
SM51 Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2012
(copy-pasta from the Wiki)
"With the Shadow Broker's support, the yahg killed the operative that was monitoring him and assumed the operative's identity, attaining a high rank within the organization as "Operative Kechlu"."

Eventually the Broker wanted him killed, but 'Kechlu' killed the Broker first and then rescinded the order to kill the Yahg, once he became the Shadow Broker.
Reply
:iconoverandoverandout:
overandoverandout Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
"CRY YOU GODDAMN BABY"
Reply
:icondeathlightning21:
DeathLightning21 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
XD XD XD XD XD XD
Reply
:iconmadame-ambrosia:
Madame-Ambrosia Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I fucking love Zaeed. My favorite man if all time in Mass Effect. This was grand gold!
Reply
:iconlostmercenary99:
LostMercenary99 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
I want more. MOAR!!!!!
Reply
:iconakila-delpanther:
Akila-Delpanther Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
Haha oh my god haha Zaeed :) haha
Reply
:iconarcadia365:
Arcadia365 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
Oh god yes
Reply
:iconemopigu101:
EMOPIGU101 Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012  Student General Artist
ahahahaha oh my god XD zaeed we love you <3
Reply
:iconmeridus:
Meridus Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
Holy crap. I literally cried from laughing while listening, this is absolutely amazing.
Reply
:iconlakdav:
Lakdav Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2012
Wow. Whats gonna be the next animal? Tresher maws?
Reply
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